9 Months of Anticipation, Planning and Joy

The story of Clara Jane Wells began in October of 2003 when I took a pregnancy test on a whim. My husband, Bill, was out of town on business, but I took a test because I was a few days late. I didn't really think that I was pregnant, or I would have waited until he came home. When I saw those two pink lines, I got so excited and felt such joy to know that another baby was beginning to form inside me. I decided to wait until Bill got home on Friday to tell him, but I did call my midwife Lindy and told her. I am always so excited that I want to shout it from the rooftops, so keeping the secret was a bit hard for me. That night Bill called me and asked if I was pregnant. I said no, thinking I would fess up when he got home. He said that he thought that I was, and that I was having a girl and her name should be Clara. I immediately loved the name, even though it wasn't on we had considered before. He called me several more times before he got home and I still kept insisting that I didn't think I was pregnant. Once he got home, I told him the truth, but it was very anti-climatic. He just said, I knew that, I have been telling you that for days!

I was due on June 22, 2004. Our older children, Michael, Emmalie, Spencer and Stephen were very excited when we told them. Everyone was looking forward to having a new little baby in our family. The boys of course insisted they wanted another brother and Emmalie was really hoping for a sister. At this point we had only found out the gender of one of our babies before birth and I wanted to be surprised at the birth again. Bill however was certain it was a girl and wanted to find out by ultrasound. I still wasn't sure, but made him a deal. If we found out it was a girl I could decorate the girls room and prepare a nursery, for the first time. I had never had that opportunity before. So, we had the ultrasound and it was in fact a girl and we started getting ready. I painted Emmalie's(now the GIRLS!) room, bought girly bedding and even had my first, and only, baby shower. Buying little girl things again was so much fun. In retrospect, knowing she was a girl ahead of time ended up being such a blessing.

We were planning another homebirth. Stephen had been born at home, and we had such an amazing experience with his birth, that we could not wait to do it again. The pregnancy progressed smoothly and towards the end I was not even in a hurry to have her born. I thought it was because I had lists of things that just needed to be done, but looking back and have to wonder if it was my spirit just wanting to hold on to her for as long as possible.

The last time that I heard little Clara's heartbeat was June 3, 2004. I had a prenatal appointment with Lindy that morning and everything checked out just perfect. I remember Lindy listening to her for several minutes and pronouncing that she sounded really good. We set up an appointment for the following week.

The last time that I remember feeling Clara move inside me was on Wednesday June 9th in the early morning. Michael, our oldest, climbed in bed with me as they often did in the mornings to feel their sister kick as she was always fairly active in the mornings. This particular morning though she wasn't very active. Michael and I tried for awhile to get he to really kick, but we only got a few smaller movements. It didn't worry me though, I never even thought that something might be wrong.