Our family has been given the tremendous gift of not one, but THREE rainbow babies. I am so, so grateful for these little ones. First, just 13 months after Clara's birth was Annie. I can't even begin to describe the feelings I had when she was placed, alive and breathing, on my tummy the moment after I delivered her. I cried and cried tears of joy. There was quite a bit of shock too, as there was a part of me that never really believed that she would be okay.
My joy, once again, was mixed with pain as it was so clear what I had missed with Clara. Every time Annie opened her eyes and looked at me, I remembered that Clara never did. When she nursed, I remembered my full, painful breasts in the weeks after Clara died and how badly I wanted a baby to nurse. When she smiled at us and laughed and crawled and babbled and walked and talked and grew, it reminded(and still reminds me) of how long I have to wait to experience all those things with Clara.
I am so grateful for the gospel, and the knowledge that little Clara will be ours to raise later. It gives me hope and pulls me through the darker days.