Rainbow Babies(part 1)

A rainbow baby is a baby that a family is blessed with after the loss of a previous baby. They are called rainbow babies because a rainbow is a beautiful, joyful occurrence after a dark and stormy time; a rainbow needs both sun and rain. It is also the promise of new hope and life.

Our family has been given the tremendous gift of not one, but THREE rainbow babies. I am so, so grateful for these little ones. First, just 13 months after Clara's birth was Annie. I can't even begin to describe the feelings I had when she was placed, alive and breathing, on my tummy the moment after I delivered her. I cried and cried tears of joy. There was quite a bit of shock too, as there was a part of me that never really believed that she would be okay.

My joy, once again, was mixed with pain as it was so clear what I had missed with Clara. Every time Annie opened her eyes and looked at me, I remembered that Clara never did. When she nursed, I remembered my full, painful breasts in the weeks after Clara died and how badly I wanted a baby to nurse. When she smiled at us and laughed and crawled and babbled and walked and talked and grew, it reminded(and still reminds me) of how long I have to wait to experience all those things with Clara.
I am so grateful for the gospel, and the knowledge that little Clara will be ours to raise later. It gives me hope and pulls me through the darker days.